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Jesus said to them – “when you connect, use this protocol:

“Our Provider, who art in heaven

Trending be your name.

Your Social Network Come.

Your will be done, online as it is in heaven.

Give us this day our daily RSS feed,

and forgive us our internet history, as we forgive those who troll against us.

Lead us not into phishing sites and deliver us from spam email.

For thine be the network, the cloud and the meme, without timing out, amen”



  1. The above being the development of an idea born from and initially shared on the Unvirtuous Abbey facebook page (RIP, in the sure and certain hope of the resurrection, abbey). I developed it and tidied it up a bit and finally got it posted. Thanks to the Abbey for the inspiration, the massive encouragement of sharing the rough form of the above with the wider world, and the thinking and laughing your posts have inspired me to do.

  2. Ha! I love your mind. This is wonderful!

    • Thank you. I’m glad someone does. I hate it sometimes. Cheers for the encouragement though.

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